Why I created The HelpHUB™
I lost my dad, Jim, to suicide in the summer of 1978, two weeks after my 10th birthday, but I didn’t discover he’d taken his own life until I was 45 years old. So, I've actually lost my father twice in my lifetime—once to what I was told was a heart attack and again, 35 years later, when I learned that he’d died by suicide. Two very different types of losses and two radically different types of grief that I needed to learn to process. And I had to come to terms with the fact that my beautiful father—my person—was mentally ill and suffering in silence.
Sadly, my dad was struggling at a time when mental illness was considered shameful and taboo, so couldn't be saved. But others can. And that’s why I’m here.
What I've learned over the last decade of re-grieving and re-processing my dad's death is that losing someone we love to suicide is a unique and isolating kind of loss because:
; it can often be sudden and unexpected
; we don't always know the person’s “why” and that can be distressing
; the stigma surrounding death by suicide can create feelings of shame
; many survivors wonder if they could’ve prevented their loved one’s death
; finding someone or imagining what happened to your person can be extremely traumatic
That’s why survivors of suicide loss and those suffering with mental illness need help and support and community.
And this is the reason why I've turned my pain into purpose by working as a mental health advocate and as a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, the country’s largest suicide and crisis support network for at-risk LGBTQ+ youth. Now, my purpose is to share content and spark conversations to help end the stigma of suicide and connect people with the support and hope they deserve. One conversation at a time.